Monday, January 17, 2005

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I've Learned in the Checkout Line at the Grocery Store

Goodness knows what on earth I would do without the information displayed on the tabloid covers in the checkout line. I could be going through life without any knowledge of the breakup of Brad and Jen (as well as the Angelina Factor), Scott Peterson's secret baby, the state of Nick and Jessica's marriage, and all things Paris-Hilton-related. While buying baby wipes and salad dressing I can be tempted to learn about who is gay in Hollywood and monitor the current size of Kirsite Alley's behind. I can also observe what the Olsen Twins are wearing and note that Mary-Kate's arm is about as wide as a mostaccioli noodle. Anything related to Desperate Housewives and the O.C. can be found there too! I would be completely oblivous to most of these important happenings in the world otherwise.

*Sigh*

If only...

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