Monday, November 29, 2004

Best. Show. EVER.

arrested development

Well, it's pretty close at least- especially since I won't have any new episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" for quite a while. I picked up the dvd of the first season last week and Jason and I have been plowing through them. SO FUNNY! Also, who would have thought that I'd be thinking how cute Jason Bateman is after say, 1988? And when can I have hair like Portia de Rossi already? (That is so totally not her real name. Come on now.)

Sunday, November 28, 2004

NEWS FLASH: People Travel on Holidays, Like to Buy Things

Boy, I can hardly wait for the all the reporting on last-minute Christmas shoppers, post-Christmas sales, and tips on how to lose the holiday flab!

Please, make it stop.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I Don't Know What to Think About This

Tonight, Jason showed me a way to track all the traffic that comes through my website (not just this blog but the girl's blog and the photo pages as well.) Anyway, in addition to the cool data about where in the world people reading my site from as well as how many views a day I get and so on, there is also an interesting little list that shows what words people search for on Google that lead them to my site. Now some searches are for my actual name, while many others involve pregnancyand stuff involving babies and kids. A few searches mention things like Jon Stewart, certain movies I've posted about and a few politicians. However, a lot of things on this list quite frankly creep me out and I'm wondering just how a few of these key words would lead people to my little old website. I'm sure a lot of them are probably disappointed once they get here. I also don't know how I feel about people finding my site while searching for "sexy pregnant bellies" because that just makes me feel icky. Here is a sample of some of the things people are looking for (other than the name gessner) when they find my site (although some of the things I flat out refuse to list here. Ew!)

big belly
newborn baby
i hate tracey
how to get rid of a gummy smile
bicep girl
boy robot
alien in my belly
my little pony palooza
78 buick

peter krause
kerry eats babies
puffy girls
fetal development
dyson costco
ode to my tv
crazy tracey
birth stories
biker chick party
little baby squid
greg steffke
lyle lovett political views
when no one understands you
gessner crazy
goonies never say die
john edwards shirtless
nick stokes shirtless
tucker carlson shirtless
adrian brody shirtless
gargantuan belly
robot eyes
picture of beauty girls
tracey coulter
pictures of pinnochio from the burbs
get out belly
diet coke head
condi rice's hair
my little nugget
vampire attack
mina and lucy
what does the bible say about infidels?
how i get my arms skinny
really sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad poems
goth birthday invitations
reese witherspoon eating ice cream
You have no idea how entertaining this is for me!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Note to the Guy on Ebay Who is Trying to Scam Me:

I am not stupid. You are not getting me to send my laptop to Nigeria for your "daughter's" birthday. I am not a stranger to ebay scams. Plus, if you're going to try to cheat me, could you at least not use the exact same email that is floating around the ebay message boards? I have a little pride here. Oh, and isn't just a wonderful coincidence that merely hours after I informed you that I do not ship items out of the United States (as stated in the auction details) I get a personal phone call from "ebay seller services" offering to help me sell my items in the worldwide market? I mean, ebay calling little me who sells items every now and again to help me make more money internationally? How sweet of them. The perky girl on the phone was pretty good though. Nice touch.

Suddenly I feel like I want to go rent Matchstick Men.


Well, I've been working on Ava's birthday video the past couple of days and I'm just so excited but sad at the same time for her 1st birthday. After I had Juliana, I always sort of knew in the back of my mind that I would have another baby someday (even though outwardly I denied it) so as each milestone passed I was a little sad, but I also knew that it would not be the last time I would witness a baby's first smile, tooth or step. Now that we have Ava though, and our family is most definitely complete, (yes, I'm serious this time!) I watch each new thing she learns with a little tear in my eye because I know this will be my last time for such an event. So let me just get this out of my system when I say: MY BABIES ARE GROWING UP!!! I have officially turned into a weepy mom who will sob at each major milestone in my children's life from here on out.

my girls

On another note, one thing I have learned in the past week that no matter what I do or say, there will always be people out there who will not like me, my beliefs, or my parenting style- be it because of my politics or simply because I forgot to put a hat on my baby on my last trip to the grocery store. It can't be helped. All I can do is to live my life happily and to raise my kids in the best way that I know how. Everything will be fine. Trust me.

Monday, November 22, 2004

No Real Reason for Posting This, I Just Felt Like It


Monday Morning Rant

Let's cut the nonsense and have single-issue bills in Congress already, right? Enough of the congressional pay raises snuck into education bills (and the "how could you vote against the children??"rhetoric that comes after it). Stop making it easy from people to bury propositions like making your personal tax records available at any time to two random committee chairmen in the latest spending bill. Maybe if if these bills weren't 1500 pages long with hundreds of little unrelated provisions then we could actually get some real legislation done? Not to mention then we could clearly see where our congressmen's loyalities lie when their reasons for voting for or against a particular bill become less complex. More money for public schools? YES or NO. Big bold type with huge bubbles to fill in with a number two pencil. And while we're at it, how about no more voting on these mammoth bills merely hours after they come into the hands of the congressmen's secretaries? Maybe we should take the time to read every word of what we're trying to write into law.

And one more thing, stop repealing laws that your party initially pushed for once it becomes clear that a person on your side of the aisle might be affected by said law. Here's looking at you, Tom Delay.

Friday, November 19, 2004

If I Had A Boat

If you haven't seen Jason's pictures of his and Juliana's boat experiment, you should check them out here. It's a pretty good story, if not a successful one.

What the World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love

Wow, I've been getting some responses lately from some people who seem to really disagree with what I say. I'm not going to comment much except to say that I'm happy that my life is filled with happiness and love. It takes so much energy to be hateful. Thus, I will continue my list of things to be happy about in order to keep the positive energy flowing:

Ava's gappy front teeth
Pictures with Santa- THE WEEK BEFORE THANKSGIVING (Whole story here.)
Listening to Etta James on a rainy day
Little Shop of Horrors
Lyle Lovett
Candy Land with Juli
Baking Cookies
Iced Tea
Have I mentioned how much I love the Daily Show with Jon Stewart? Yes? Oh. Ok.
Heather, Jon, and Leta
Jason (XOXO)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


Oh wow. My neck still hurts from the Pixes show the other night. I bopped and bounced and jumped so much I'm surprised my head stayed on. It was so totally fun though! Even in my tall boots, it was next to impossible to see them, but frankly I couldn't have cared less because the music was AWESOME. One of the things that made it so great (besides the fact that they RAWK) is the fact that I never ever thought I would hear that music live in my lifetime. What a treat. I don't even care if I was spastic and jumpy and bumping into people because, seriously, why should I hold back? If I don't allow myself to freak out when seeing my favorite band ever, when will I? I got a new Pixies shirt too. It's pink. I'm happy.

"When a problem comes along, you must whip it...."

I am very pleased to hear today that Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois was appointed the new House Minority Whip. I always remember the time he came into the gas station I was working at (before he was elected) and talked with me for a few minutes about his campaign. He seemed like a really nice guy then so I voted for him and I have been extremely happy with his performance as Senator. Now if I could just get the song "Whip it" out of my head.

Monday, November 15, 2004

I Have an Excellent Idea: Let's Change the Subject!

This is a photo of me and Steph back around the time we first started listening to the Pixies. Since they broke up right after we discovered them, we never thought we would get a chance to go to one of their shows and dance around like idiots. Now, we will finally have that chance.

It should be noted that this picture was taken on Halloween, 1994, hence the white gothy makeup. Even so, it still is probably a pretty good example of what we looked like at the time.

Na Na Na Na Boo Boo

I'm going to see the Pixies tonight! I'm going to see the Pixies tonight!

Warning: The Following is an Exercise in Sarcasm in Order to Illustrate a Point

You know what I don't like? These people who say they have "open" marriages. You know, married couples who agree to pursue relationships outside of their marriage while still remaining a committed couple? Personally, I think this kind of relationship is deplorable and not what god intended married people to do. Marriage is a union betweeen a man and a woman, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health until death do us part." It is not a union between a man and a woman and that hot girl who works at the TGI Fridays and Steve from accounting. It doesn't matter if the infidelity is consensual- it is an affront to the entire institution of marriage! Don't get me wrong, I don't hate these people. I just hate their actions. We simply must do something to curb this sort of deviant behavior. I mean, think of the children! I will not stand for these people threatening the sanctity of marriage and will speak out in order to educate the American public of this growing problem so we can properly defend ourselves. I think an immediate constutional ammendment is in order. If any married couple engages in such behavior, their marriage should be promptly nullified by the state. They are consciously and deliberately breaking a vow made in front of God and their unions should no longer be recognized.

Ok, I don't really believe this. Sometimes arguments I hear just sound so comical that I can't help myself. Here's the problem though: I don't think people are ever going to reach a consensus on issues like gay marriage. Neither side is going to bend. So what are we to do? I honestly don't know. People on my side will keep fighting for what they believe is right, just as people on the other side will do the same for what they believe. Sometimes they will pull ahead and sometimes we will take the lead. But we will never be finished. Sometmes I wish that everyone who has never known a gay person could spend some time as a dance major in Chicago. Not only would it be an educational experience, but it would be really funny as well.

Just as a side note, did you know that some of the states that passed laws banning gay marriage also made it illegal for two gay people to own property together?

Sunday, November 14, 2004


Things To Be Happy About (Other than the obvious things like my little girls, Jason, family and friends, my health...etc.)

1. The fact that I am going to see my favoirite band ever (the Pixies) for the first time in my life tomorrow night!
2. My TIVO
3. The 40's station on my XM radio
4. The recipe database Jason set up for me
5. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
6. My new living room floor
7. Bloglines (If you are a blog reader and you don't use this program- yes Steph I'm talking to you- I highly recommend it!)
9. Library Cards
10. Ray Charles
11. Chili
12. Christmas movies (yes, I'm one of those people)
13. Buffy and Angel on DVD
14. Moisturizer
15. Candles that smell like Pumpkin Pie and Apple Cider
16. Pumpkin Pie and Apple Cider
17. Desoto Records
18. Making music videos
19. South Park
20. Butternut Squash
21. Serenity, the movie
22. Spongebob Squarepants
23. Will Ferrell
24. My Sparkly Pink Scarf
25. Hot tea
26. Babysitters
27. Sundays

Hey this is fun! I'll have to continue this later. Now I'm in a good mood.

Friday, November 12, 2004

"And if I never see your face again, well I don't care..."

Get Scott Peterson off of my tv. Please.

When Will This Bad Dream Be Over?

Last night, I was watching footage on tv of the seige in Fallujah and aside from the coverage having the tone of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie, I was trying to remember exactly why we were even doing this in the first place. Does anyone remember? I love the freedoms I have in my country but if the President would have come to us two years ago and said we needed to invade Iraq for the sole purpose of liberating them and bestowing the gift of freedom and democracy upon them, what would the American public have said? Who will we bestow our gift upon next?

Fidel Castro in Cuba
Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe
Moammar Al Qadhafi in Libya
Kim Jong-il in North Korea
Alexander Lukashenko in Belarus
Saparmurat Niyazov in Turkmenistan
Than Shwe in Myanmar
Islom Karimov in Uzbekistan
Pervez Musharraf in Pakistan
Teodoro Obiang Nguema in Equatorial Guinea
King Fahd and Prince Abdullah in Saudi Arabia
Hugo Ch�z in Venezuela

Read more about the 10 worst dictators in 2004 here.

Oh, and I would just like to state for the record that just because people are not allowed to speak out in other countries does not make me a hypocrite for exercising my own right to dissent in my country. I think that if you love your country then you want it to be the best is can possibly be. This, coming from a suburban midewesten mom who does not live in either New York or California. Rock on.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Note to America


Thank you. It needed to be said.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

What Exactly Did You Mean By That, Dorothy?

Juliana and I watched The Wizard of Oz this afternoon and though I love this movie, I never realized how odd Dorothy's speech is at the end of the movie. She says:

"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with!�

Yeah. Why should we think about leaving our little farm in Kansas? Everything we ever needed is right here! Doesn't seem like a very progressive statement, does it? I know, I know, she's just trying to drive the "There's no place like home" sentiment in but still, it seems a little short-sighted to me.

It's just a movie, Tracey!!

If Only My Insurance Company Had Such Wonderful Customer Service

So I bought an ionic breeze air purifier on ebay last year for a fraction of the retail cost and recently it broke. I called the people at the Sharper Image and they told me to box it up and send it to them so they could SEND ME A BRAND NEW ONE. I promptly sent it to them only last week and today my brand spanking new air purifier came to my doorstep. I wholeheartedly endorse this company from here on out. They rank right up there with the people who made my Dyson vacuum cleaner.

By the way, the ionic breeze rocks.

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

What Can I Do?

I've been feeling pretty helpless but at the same time fired up lately, but I don't know where to put my energy. I feel like I need to do something or get involved in order to help bring change in our society but I don't really know where to start. Jason likes to write letters to our senators and call their offices about issues he is concerned about so I think that will be a start. (Plus, I'd be giddy about getting responses from Barrack Obama's office. I HEART OBAMA!!) I don't really think that will be enough for me though. I feel like I don't do anybody any good by just reading about the world and then complaining about it. If anyone has any suggestions about how I can become super-ultra-mega-activist supreme (or at least just have my voice be heard a litte bit louder) please let me know.

Also, my friend Kesa sent me a link to this article giving the best arguments ever for not leaving the country. Please don't leave, people! This is our country too so don't let anyone push you out!

Sunday, November 7, 2004

Ok, So Maybe I Was Wrong About That Whole Purple Thing

And it get's better:

Have I mentioned how much I love the fact that I still live in Cook County, Illinois? Is it really an urban versus rural/suburban culture war?

Friday, November 5, 2004

Hee Hee

I'll be submitting my own photo to this site shortly:

I Don't Care What People Say, I Love Michael Moore

From his 17 Reasons Not To Slit Your Wrists:

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Not Red or Blue, But Purple


Screw You, Alan Keyes, You Hateful Little Man

Keyes blames media, GOP for loss in Ill.

Alan Keyes blamed the media and fellow Republicans on Thursday for his lopsided loss to Democrat Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate race in Illinois.

Keyes also said he did not congratulate Obama after the race was called, a tradition among politicians, because doing so would have been a "false gesture" because he believes Obama's views on issues like abortion are wicked.

"I'm supposed to make a call that represents the congratulations toward the triumph of that which I believe ultimately stands for and will stand for a culture evil enough to destroy the very soul and heart of my country," Keyes said. "I can't do this, and I will not make a false gesture."

The former diplomat and two-time presidential candidate, who lost to Obama by 43 percentage points Tuesday, gave his first post-election interview Thursday to a Christian talk show host.

Keyes said that despite the loss, he thought he did a good job spreading his message of moral values in the short time he had to campaign. Republicans drafted Keyes in August after primary winner Jack Ryan dropped out amid a scandal over sex club allegations in his divorce files. Keyes is from Maryland and had never lived in Illinois.

He also said he was disappointed in what he called the number of "Republicans in name only" in Illinois. An Associated Press exit poll showed that four in 10 Republicans voted for Obama, a liberal state senator from Chicago.

"I had counted on the fact that Republicans would come back home on Election Day rather than vote a socialist into office who stands against everything they profess to believe as Republicans," Keyes said.

Keyes noted that 1.3 million people voted for him.

But Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs pointed out that 70 percent of the vote went to Obama, more than 3.4 million votes.

"The people of Illinois rendered a very clear decision on Tuesday by handing Alan Keyes the greatest election defeat in Illinois Senate history. Barack Obama's attention is focused on the important work he now must do for all the people of Illinois."

Keyes said a major difficulty in his campaign was overcoming the "stranglehold" the media had on trying to define the issues of importance in political campaigns.

"I refused to accept their authority, and I still do," Keyes said.

1.3 Million People Voted For Him???

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Reasons to Be Optimistic

1. Bush mush clean up his own mess in Iraq. Nobody will be able to say, "Well, we WERE on the right track until we voted in Kerry!"

2. The movement on the left is more organized, structured and fired up than ever before. I intend to take part.

3. If I truly am wrong about Bush, then the country will be ok.

I don't want anything bad to happen to our country. I honestly don't. I truly wish that in the next four years that Bush will become a great president, bring the country together and PROVE ME WRONG. The future of my country is more important than me being right or getting to say, "I told you so." A lot of people are saying that we are going to be sorry and that people are going to suffer because of this decision, and though I tend to agree with them I really hope that this turns out not to be true.

That being said, I don't really buy the olive branch extended to Kerry supporters in Bush's acceptance speech yesterday. How can you say you will reach out to unite everybody when you based your entire campaign on being as divisive as possible? I want to feel optimistic again but I know that the once Supreme Court nominees start popping up and Roe v. Wade begins working it's way through the courts it's all going to go out the window. I can't stand for that.

I really need to find a way to get involved more than just reading and ranting. However, I also need to take a break from all this and clear my mind. I need to focus on other things for a while. My baby's first birthday is coming up and the holidays are coming along with (maybe, hopefully?) another trip out to Vegas so let's find reasons to smile! Don't give up everyone!

"In a democracy, people get the kind of government they deserve."

-Winston Churchill

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

My Future Home?


You know I really truly thought that this country was ready for a change. I really felt that I was going to be a part of something BIG that would be the start of a major turning point for our country. I thought we were going to be making history. Now I see that I was just on the losing side of the most bitter, negative, nasty political campaign in my lifetime. I was thinking this morning, how can my beliefs be so different from 51% of the other people in my country? Am I just not getting the memo? What does it say about us that we can be so split? Are people like me and the other 49% that are completely crushed at the prospect of four more years of the same just faithless wackos that don't get it? Why do people think that George Bush has the lock on American morals and values? Too many questions without answers. I'm so scared of what might happen in the Supreme Court over the next four years. I'm scared of the role that religion is taking in our government. I don't know what more needs to happen for things to change. How can the things that I believe in so strongly not matter to so many people? I was so hopeful yesterday and now I'm just so sad. There was so much momentum for change and I just don't understand what happened. I really believed in my heart that it would be different.


So the #1 issue on most voters minds yesterday- more than the war in Iraq, terrorism and the economy- turned out to be "morals and values?"

Code Word: We Hate Gays.

I feel like the world I'm living in can't possibly be real.

I woke up this morning and was greeted by one of the biggest, stinkiest diapers I've ever encountered, in more ways than one. I'm going into hiding for a while.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004


What is going on. I can't believe this is happening. I want to cry. What on earth has to happen in order for things to change?

Woo Hoo! I Like Stickers.


Monday, November 1, 2004

And The Clock Winds Down...

I was just sitting here looking at my election countdown clock feeling excited and worried, but mostly just filled with dread at what is most likely going to be a very ugly day tomorrow that will probably stretch into many days beyond that. The past couple of weeks I've been feeling fairly optimistic, reading about record new voter registrations and a projected massive voter turnout among young people, but the still razor-thin magins in the polls and the thousands of lawyers lined up and ready to argue in the battleground states has my stomach in knots. I just want whatever happens to be decisive. No lawsuits, no Supreme Court involvement and for gods sake, PLEASE DON't LET THERE BE AN ELECTORAL VOTE TIE! The only thing worse than the courts deciding the next president would be the House picking the president. Seriously, one vote per state? That means California would get the same weight as Utah? And you thought the electoral college was outdated and unfair. I know people are probably sick and tired about all the arguments for or against keeping the electoral college but consider this: the people of AFGANISTAN can vote directly for their president and WE CAN'T. What is fair about giving the votes from residents of Wyoming or South Dakota more weight than people in New York or Illinois? What ever happened to one person=one vote? The electoral college was established in an attempt to give states with smaller populations an equal voice but the ratio of electoral votes to population by far favors the small states. My vote certainly doesn't carry as much weight as somebody who lives in a state like Utah. And if I was voting Republican in Illinois (I know, gasp!) my vote would essentially get thrown out and not count at all since the rest of the state always votes solidly blue. No matter who ends up with the 270 electoral votes, I still think the system needs to change. Bush could very well win the popular vote and lose the electoral college and I would still argue the same thing.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I will be posting over the next few days or not. It all depends on how things play out. I may be too angry and disillusioned- but then again maybe I'll be too busy celebrating in the streets! I honestly cannot believe the intensity that people have for this election, on both sides of the coin. I heard somebody on the radio today say that half the people of this country are going to be absolutely crushed after this is over no matter what happens. And then what will we do? All I know that tomorrow night we will be up to the wee hours of the morning watching the results come in, blue martinis in hand and nervously holding our breath.