Come On Baby Light My Fire (By Match Only Please)

In the car this morning, Jason and I heard on the radio that it is now illegal to bring a lighter on an airplane. That sounds pretty good right? (Other than the fact that why was it still legal to bring one in the first place after that shoe bomber guy?) Then they went on to say that it is still just fine for smokers to bring matches onto a plane.

.......................................................


That was basically my response.

Apparently I have to check a nail file or tweezers but god forbid anyone have to search around for a light once they reach their travel destination. THINK OF ALL THE CIGARETTES THAT WOULD GO UNSMOKED for the twenty mintues it took to go to the little airport convenience stand to buy more matches. WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THOSE POOR CIGARETTES???

At least they had the common sense to ban bull whips.

Perfect Example of Why There Should Be a Written Test Before You Are Allowed To Procreate

Britney's Bun in the Oven

Britney. Honey. If your new slacker husband left his previous girlfriend to be with you when she was eight months pregnant with his second child, you might want to consider taking some time before diving in to that whole makin' babies together thing. I know you probably think it's like, totally romantic and stuff and that everyone-in Hollywood-is-doing-it-so-why-can't-you but come on girl. At least Madonna has some brains.

More Proof That I Am Part Elfin or Another Reason To Buy More Gear

Last night in another attempt to start getting in better shape, I asked Jason if I could borrow his iPod so I could go for a walk/run and listen to music at the same time. I have never been a runner outside of being on the track team in 8th grade but it's something I've been meaning to try for a while because I know it would feel really, really good. So I set out last night on a brisk walk in order to ease myself into it, listening to Aphex Twin and feeling good. However, the second I started to break into a run the little ear bud headphones fell out of my ears. I tried shoving them in there any way I couuld but my ears are simply to small for them to stay in. I would run about fifty yards and out they would pop again. I suppose I could have just run in silence but something about my body refuses to do that. When I'm listening to music I can kind of zone out and get in a really good groove but without it, I'm suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that I'm running down the street in my suburban neighborhood and I get really self-conscious. Plus, can I just say that the scenery of townhouse after townhouse is hardly exciting? I need a little Liz Phair sining in my ear to keep me motivated. I saw another guy out running who had sporty headphones on his head so I know that's what I need. Because apparently I just don't have enough stuff yet. Of course, it's for a good purpose though if I have my health in mind. It seems that I've gained 5 to 6 pounds back after losing all my pregnancy weight last year so I'm kicking into a new diet/fitness regimen and I'd really like to start including some outdoor activity. Hopefully now that I've put it in writing I'll actually stick with it! On the plus side, after walking for a half an hour last night I felt spectacular and full of energy. Too bad it's going to rain all day today. Poop on bad weather.

Aragorn Conquers the 'Burbs

Somewhere In My Wicked Miserable Past, There Must've Been a Moment of Truth

It seems that little fairies have brought me my very own Apple iBook laptop. I woke up this morning and there it was waiting for me on the coffee table. Apparently I have been a very good girl.


Did I marry a keeper or what?

Gettin' Some Cultcherin'

Saturday afternoon Jason and I went to see a play at New American Theatre in Rockford. I would link to NAT's website but apparently that's impossible since they DON'T HAVE ONE. Maybe I'm being catty but who on earth doesn't have a website these days? I know they're an arts organization in a arts-resistant town but come on. I actually had to purchase tickets for the show over the phone. (I kid you, NAT. Sort of.)

Anyway, aside from their lack of tech savvy, the production was really quite good. We saw a play written by Alan Ball (creator of HBO's Six Feet Under) called "Five Women Wearing the Same Dress." It was about five different women (obviously) who are all bridesmaids at a wedding. Basically they are hiding out in a bedroom at the reception gossiping, laughing, complaining, and telling stories in an attempt to avoid the festivities downstairs. The style was kind of in the vein of Sex and the City- a sort of "what women really talk about when men aren't around" deal. It was pretty funny, although some of the jokes seemed a little old (but since it was written in 1992 I guess I have to cut Alan Ball some slack.) The only thing Jason and I didn't like was towards the end when they introduced a male character who really did not mesh with the rest of the cast. Basically, he was supposed to come in and sweep the very independent Samantha Jones-type character off her feet and begin to change her hardened views about men. Well first of all, the actor in the role didn't come across as very charming or masculine at all, and it was really hard to believe that the girl would every fall for his type so easily. Plus, he had that very "actor-ish" way of acting. You know those theatre guys who TALK REALLY LOUD and are overly animated to the point where they become a caricature of themselves? Kind of like that comedy sketch from Mr. Show where Bob Odenkirk is yelling "LOOK AT ME! I'M A BIIIIIG ACTOR. I YELL THE LOUDEST! BLAH-DEE-BLAH-DEE-BLAH!" That's how it was. (Apologies to those who have never seen Mr. Show but I think you still will get my point.) The women in the play were all very natural for the most part so it was a very odd shift when he entered the stage. Overall, we really did enjoy the show and it was nice to get out and see some theatre for a change. We usually see a lot of visual art and dance so this makes me want to get out and see more plays now.

Kissing My REAL Husband (Not My Fakey-Fake Internet One)