Thursday, May 31, 2012

Full Circle: The Old Becomes New Again

So... I went to an audition recently. Like a real, dance audition for the first time since I was in college. The first time in this century, if you will. It actually took place a couple of days before the Rockford Marathon but it's taken me over a week to process the fact that I had the nerve to go there and try out for an actual local modern dance company.

I didn't tell very many people i was going. Really because I was trying to be nonchalant about it and I knew the second people started wishing me luck it would turn into a "big deal" and I'd get nervous. So I kept it pretty much a secret and went in there and did my thing and left.

Gratuitous mirror photo beforehand.

I didn't have any expectation that I would be the person chosen to join the company. This was more about me putting myself out there, challenging myself, and beginning to wedge my foot in the door to the Milwaukee dance scene. There were lots of emotions involved. Feelings and stuff.

I wore a bib number that wasn't at a race!

I'm happy with how I performed overall. I picked up the choreography they taught very quickly and was able to execute it well for the most part.  They taught FAST and it was exciting to learn something under pressure. My strong point has always been performance quality so I feel like I did well. We also had to do some improvisation in small groups, which was scary since I haven't done that in years and years and I didn't know anyone else there like a lot of the other girls auditioning seemed to. I tried to connect with the people in my group but this was definitely a weak point for me. Instead of pushing to stand out I know that I was blending in. I missed my homies from the Dance Center at Columbia something fierce.

Old School. Not nearly enough photos from back then. 

I wasn't surprised to find out I didn't get it. But I'm also proud of myself for not chickening out and making excuses: "I'm too old, not enough experience, too many years away from dancing, etc..."  If anything it's given me the motivation to improve my dancing and try again the next time a performance opportunity arises- either with this company or elsewhere. I'm already filling my summer schedule with technique classes and a choreography workshops. Now that I know where I stand and what I need to work on I feel like it's something within my reach.

(NOT the audition! They used this photo of me from class in a recent email about the summer session.)


  1. I'm so inspired by you and proud of you for what you did. I'm about to cheese this place up but... so often we forget it's not about the destination but the journey. The fact that you put yourself out there and pushed yourself so far outside of your comfort zone will likely bring you so many more opportunities and positive things in life so that even though you didn't get IT, you'll get so much more.

    Way to be so generally kick ass.

    *cheesing over*

  2. You made me all teary. Again.

    Also: I need to hang with you IRL. FYI. SRSLY.

    1. Also, yes. IRL. FYI. And SRSLY.

      And I promise IRL not to make you teary :) (or at least try not to!)

  3. This is so exciting Tracey! You went after something that you love. You didn't give up and you are now working towards a new goal. It is very inspiring. It is a message to all of us to go after your dreams. You are never too old or young. :)