Goals. I've Achieved Them. (And I have some more.)

"I'm going to run a 3:55 someday. In fact, I'm going to run a 3:50 someday. Yeah, I said it."

I typed those words on May 20th of this year after bonking horribly at the Rockford Marathon for the second time in a row. I was pretty sure that 3:55 was doable but I kind of wanted to reach out and take that 3:50 back after I published it. For some reason it still seemed like a number I just wouldn't be able to grasp. (At least not for a few years.)

So then I went and ran a 3:50:06 at the Chicago Marathon last weekend.

BOOM.

I ran a 3:50:06 and felt AMAZING the entire time. I can't even tell you how awesome it feels to still have gas in the tank for the final 5K of a marathon instead of fighting back against pain and tears and downright awfulness! Instead of slowing down in the final miles was passing people all the way to the end. I had a plan, I executed with it precision and it paid off... big.

My entire race report is here for the reading but that's not what I'm writing about today. I've had a week to recover and soak up my success. I bought an overpriced Chicago Marathon jacket to commemorate my experience and purchased a couple of my race photos. (I kind of had to right?) But as most runners do after as the post-race glow starts to wear off, I'm already targeting my next goal. My next marathon won't be until next year but the inner Type A personality in me is already aiming at the :06  that lives on the end of that 3:50 marathon time. (I mean, you don't really expect me to let that go do you?)

A lot of people don't like training. They like race day but hate the drudgery of daily workouts- the speedwork, the tempo runs, the long, lonely solo miles on an early Saturday morning. I feel like I'm the opposite. I LOVE training. Give me the daily drudge. I love pushing myself hard and seeing tiny little progressions in speed, strength and endurance. I know I'll never be an elite level runner but I feel like I have some level of talent and I enjoy seeing how far I can push it. 

So I'm going to keep pushing. A couple of months ago I floated the idea of shooting for a 3:45 marathon when I turn 40. (A Boston qualifying time for me when I hit that age.) Suddenly 4+ years from now to shave off 5 minutes seems... not ambitious enough? So instead I'm gunning for that 3:45 next spring instead. It will be a stretch for me to take off that much time again but even if I don't make it on the first try I've know now that it doesn't matter. I know that missing out on my goal twice only made me fight harder and stronger the third time around. And I'm ready to keep fighting. 

September Project: Images. Movement. Dance.

Here are some of the images that I chose to print on my new set of cards. I'm pretty happy with them:

I might add a few more but this is what I have so far.

Scattered

Well... it's September 1st so I'm forcing myself to write an update on the creative project goals I laid out last month. I've said in the past that I often have so many ideas and interests that I end up spreading too much of myself around instead of focusing on a single thing (except for when it comes to running, it's pretty clear I don't have the same problem here.) Anyway, this past month instead of concentrating on ONE project to complete, I got overly excited and started a handful of them- none of which are finished.

Classic conundrum, I know. So what have I been working on?

1. I'm farthest along with a t-shirt printing idea that I've been thinking about for quite a while. I completed my initial design and am in the process of  having some screens made so I can print shirts at the Milwaukee Makerspace. I'm really excited about these and am thinking about selling some if there is any interest after I print my own.

2. I've also revisited my greeting card project that I started a couple of years ago with some of Juliana's drawings. This time though I'm manipulating some photographs I've taken and am going to print new sets of cards using these images. Do I have the images selected yes? Have I printed anything. No.

3. Last, I learned one of my favorite Mountain Goats songs on the guitar. It's not a difficult song but I've been meaning to do it forever. I had plans to record in in Garage Band but... you know. Argh...

Yeah. So what's my goal for September then? Complete at least one of these ideas and more importantly DO NOT START a new project.

We'll see how it all shakes out.

Creativity.

I'm kind of an all or nothing person. When I'm into something I'm waaaaay in to it. Otherwise I'm not. Running, dancing, sci fi/fantasy tv? I get those things. Cooking? Nope. Camping? Double nope. I also go through phases where I'm super excited about certain things and then super not. I fill up my To-Do list to the brim with all the little things I want to accomplish. And then the next week all I want to do is multi-task Ticket to Ride on my laptop with SVU reruns while hiding from the piles of laundry that are slowly overtaking my home.

A couple of weeks ago was our much-heralded Kid-Free Week of the summer. The girls spent eight days in Rockford at with their cousins galavanting about at camp while Jason and I galavanted about the Chicago and Milwaukee areas. In addition to a slew of "Secret Dates"- ranging from fine dining and theatre to hiking and a painting class- we also spent some time lounging around by the pool making lists of things we would like to do if we had all kinds of time to do them all.  I don't mean things like traveling the world for a year (that's later down the road) but rather the little things you always mean to do if you just set aside the time, sat down, and got that business DONE. Things like learning a new song on the guitar, framing some old photos, writing projects... you know, creating something.

So I've set a goal of doing at least one creative project per month. I don't know how many months yet, all I know is I have a list of fun ideas that I want to plow my way though. Yes, it's now the second week of August so I've already got something in the works that I hope to complete pretty soon- definitely by the end of the month. (I'm not against doing multiple projects in a month but I need baby steps people. Baby stepping.) I'll try to share most if not all of what I do.

This is me putting my intentions out into the world. Holding myself accountable.

Goals. I Have Them.

Howdy. It's approximately eleventy-hundred and two degrees here in the Midwest and it makes me cranky. I wish I could say I come from sturdier stock and that I'm able to wipe my brow and bear the brunt of 90+ degree temperatures with a smile on my face, but when it comes to the heat I'm a kind of a wuss. I may be able to run 50 miles through the woods but I crave a cold shower and a massage at the end. I cringe at the mere thought of the word "camping" and my closet is stocked with twee little sundresses.

Not to say I'm not tough. I do push ups on my toes, I actually enjoy doing burpees and I drink my bourbon neat. It's just that the neverending HOT makes me feel so lethargic and unproductive and if it's one thing I hate- it's feeling lazy.

So what do I do? (Besides complain, I mean.) I spend my down time making lists of all the things I want to do when I'm not being lazy and crabby and unproductive. This week I planned out my training schedule for a 50-mile race in Door County this October. As if that weren't enough, I got greedy and started researching races for next year. (2014. Can you believe it? We live in the FUTURE.) Anyway, I decided that I want to find new ways to challenge myself (I know, I know, as if what I do right now isn't challenging enough.) But really, I feel like after running for 5 years I'm hitting high point and I want to take advantage of it and do as much as I can.

Ok, so here's where my post gets really boring and I talk about my goals. 

Since I've had bad luck with weather the past two years at the Rockford Marathon, I decided to go for my marathon PR at Wisconsin Marathon in 2014- which takes place two weeks earlier in the season. (Of course by saying this I've just now guaranteed perfect running weather in Rockford for race weekend next year but I'm trying not to think about it.) I'm fairly confident I can run a sub-3:55 marathon (maybe even a 3:50?) if I get the right conditions. Hopefully I can game it right next year!

I also still want to PR my 5K (21:57). I'm less clear on when I will be able to do this since I don't run many of them at all, but it's another distance that I'm fairly confident I can get my time down farther in given the right day.  I've kicked up my sprinting speed in my interval workouts lately so if I find a 5K that looks favorable at the end of the year I might go for it then.

Even though I haven't run my 50 miler this year yet, I'm already scoping out next year's 50 miles races. Although I'm super excited to run 50 in Door County, it's a road race and I really do prefer trails for super long distances. It's just so much easier on the legs and walk breaks seem to come more naturally out in the trail as opposed to the road. Right now I'm eyeing the Glacial Trail 50 that takes place in the fall. It's supposed to be a much tougher course than the North Face 50  that I've done twice already and it has a stricter cutoff time. Of course, this only makes me want to be able to prove I can do it even more. (Can somebody remind me of this post when I miss the cutoff and am crying into my beer?)

Looking waaaay down the road even further, I actually started mulling around the idea of the 100K distance. JUST MULLING at this point. I need to get a couple more 50 milers under my belt before I make that leap. And it's only 12 more miles right? *Sigh.* This is how I get into trouble.

Also, and I wish I could whisper this one. But if I'm able to run my fastest marathon time next year I'm going to maybepossiblyseriously start looking at trying to qualify for Boston in the next 5 years. Like the BIGGEST MAYBE you can imagine. The qualifying time for when I turn 40 is 3:45 so if I can run under 3:55 in 2014 I think it actually might be the teeniest of possibilities. Of course then I have to turn 40. And run a 3:45 marathon. And did I mention TURN 40?? God.

So that's it. I mean the really really really big goals at least. I'm going to try to whittle down my half marathon time to the low 1:40s by the end of 2013 since it's my favorite distance to actually race all out. (Schaumburg Half Marathon in November, I'm looking at you!) Oh, and I'm going to continue to teach bootcamps and try to grow my personal training business and take more dance classes and hang out with my husband from time to time and be there for my kids when they get home from school every day. You know, the usual.

Life isn't half bad. Keep rockin'.

Becoming: Part 1

It's been 6 months since I took the exam to become a personal trainer. Six months of highs and lows, trying to promote myself, dragging pounds and pounds of gear around from location to location, and oh yeah- trying my best to create ass-kicking, enjoyable workouts. People often ask me how my Little Engine that Could business is going. Here's what I'll say:

To quote Adam Sandler's character in the 1994 comedy "Mixed Nuts": It's a work in progress. It may never be finished. 

But seriously. It's been a real learning experience for me. I knew in the beginning that my biggest challenge was going to be marketing myself, and that has proven to be true. I enjoy training people- in groups and one-on-one. When I'm out running I construct workouts in my head and then I come home and test them out. I get excited over new gear I buy and spend hours in my back yard trying out new exercises. I do tons of research- reading fitness blogs and watching countless Youtube videos of other trainers, trying to learn all that I can.

For me this stuff is fun! And getting to share that knowledge with others is where is all comes together. The part I hate is the business side. (Which stinks, because I am a business and I ultimately want to be successful- on a small level, at least.)

All of my clients thus far have come to me either by social media or word-of-mouth. Luckily I have a great network of friends who have been very supportive of me, either by attending classes or saying nice things about me on the internet, and for this I am so SO grateful. Still I find myself having anxiety over getting enough people to attend a bootcamp and worrying about how it will look if I only have 2 people at a class.

Deep breaths. Baby steps. I am a work in progress.

A few weeks ago I met up with my friend Ambrose, who I trained under for over 2 years before deciding to take this step on my own. I expressed to him my frustration and worry over possibly having one person show up to what is advertised as a "group"  workout.  He proceeded to give me the greatest advice. He said something like:  "So what if you only have one person? You give that person the best, most awesome workout you possibly can- and that one person could become one of your biggest cheerleaders." 

He is right, and I have taken that advice to heart. Although I admit I will still probably always stress over the marketing side of this whole endeavor- I realize that I need to have patience. As well as persistence. So while I'm wishing I had more people at my classes, I still give 120% planning and executing every single workout- whether I have 2 people or 20 people. (Ha-like I've ever had 20 people!) I also have to keep in mind that this is a part-time gig for me. My #1 job is still my family. I'm not teaching classes to pay the bills or put food on the table. I'm doing this because I enjoy it and I think I have something to offer.

So with that in mind,  I will go forth and continue this work in progress. 

Rockford Marathon Feels

This may surprise you but I have feelings about the marathon I just ran. Mostly joyous (marathon number ten! woo!) and some conflicted (thwarted by poopy weather again! boo!) I do like to get lots of words out after running these things though so here it goes.

Marathon running is hard. EVERY time. No matter how fast or slow. It's effing hard.  (I know, I know. That's what she said.) But in all honestly, how can something be so humbling and inspiring and infuriating and uplifting all at the same time? This is the second year in a row I came to the starting line in Rockford PREPARED. I do my speedwork, I do my tempo runs, I cross train like a beast, I eat my vegetables, blah blah blah. I ran an "easy" 1:52 half a couple of weeks ago and felt amazing- not to mention the 1:44 I ran in the fall! I feel like I'm on top of my game running-wise right now. And yet... marathon smacks me in the face yet again. 

The first half of this race was spot on. With the exception of a too-fast first mile I was averaging an 8:45-8:50 pace and felt like I was just out for an easy run the whole time.  I hit 13.1 in 1:56- EXACTLY my race strategy- but something began to change in hour three of the race. 

Sun. Sunsunsunsun. Stupid sun. It crept up slowly, as in I didn't feel like I was slowing down but I started to see the pace on my Garmin inch down with every mile. 8:58, 9:03, 9:12. What. I passed mile 16 (where I had to start walking last year) and I noticed a lot of other runners were looking like they were in bad shape. I started to get that feeling where you just know that something isn't meant to happen. I was hanging in there because I wasn't ready to "let it go" but in my heart I just knew.

I'm not sure exactly when I started taking walk breaks. Mile 18? Somewhere around there. The second half of this race has a lot of slow climbing hills and with the temperature rising and my pace slowing this is what ran through my mind: I was already off pace for my 3:56 PR. Honestly I was pretty much off pace for even a sub-4. I had no "C" goal so I needed to decide what was important to me at this point.

I decided that it was more worth it to me to finish feeling GOOD. Like last year, there was no question about whether or not I could finish the distance. I simply opted to slow my pace, walk the hills and stop at all the water stops from that point on. Suffering to shave off a few minutes didn't seem important anymore. So I ran/walked some 11 minute miles. (And I grumped for a bit, I'm not going to lie.)  I chatted with some other runners who were also letting go of faster times. (Even the 4-hour pacer was walking! Whoa.) 

But then something happened. Around mile 22 we wound our way through a shaded bike path. Some clouds started to roll in and although at this point I wasn't going to be able to start running sub-9s again, I started to feel *better* overall. I started passing people who were walking again. I started smiling. When I finally turned the last corner before finish line I had a big stupid grin on my face because HOW COOL is this? The last .2 is all downhill across long bridge and it's one of my favorite things ever- this small little race in this weird little city that I'm from and I love it so much. I remember doing a little mini leap thing at one point and being really grateful that I didn't fall on my face. I saw my aunt and uncle waving like crazy and and I waved back like a goofball. It's amazing how quickly all the frustration and and pain gets washed away in those last seconds.

I ran a 4:13. I realize that is a time that a lot of people would absolutely love to run. I ran a 4:13 (hey, with a lot of walking even) and it was my TENTH marathon in less than four years! That's beyond anything I ever thought I would do when I first stepped on a treadmill. And I'm going to run a 3:55 someday. In fact, I'm going to run a 3:50 someday. Yeah, I said it.

I'll keep trying. I'm patient.