Yep. The look on my face says it all.
I won't lie. This stings. There are bright points however- most of which have come to me after pouting for a day before sucking it up and moving on.
I knew the forecast called for heavy humidity all week but I kept telling myself that at least the actual temperature wasn't going to be too hot until after I finished. (It was 85 that day but 60 at the start- maybe 75 by the time I was done.) My plan was to drink at every other water stop (of which there were 22- wow!) This would not only keep me hydrated in addition to my handheld but would also give me the opportunity to build in little 10-20 second surges every couple of miles to break things up.
I think it was somewhere between mile 2 and 3 where I realized I was already drenched in sweat. Ugh. I don't want to say I gave up there but in the back of my mind I feel like I already *knew* it was not in the cards for me that day. It felt so much like my huge bonk at Rockford Marathon a couple of years ago. I was hitting my pace at the mile splits but it didn't feel... easy. It wasn't "hard" either but it also wasn't the usual easy happy-go-lucky feel that marathon pace has been for me lately. It took some focusing to hold it there.
The course was actually very nice. It ran along the Saint Joseph river in South Bend for the most part and there were a number of out-and-backs so you were coming back on other runners a lot which is fun- especially for a small race where you could get really spread out and lonely. It was just sooooo darn humid. I was drinking tons of water but my mouth felt completely dry by mile 7. By mile 13 I knew there was no way I could hold the pace for 13 more. I felt lightheaded and and absolutely awful.
I stuck it out for one more mile and then I decided not to push my body past what it was meant to do that day. And it was not meant to run a BQ, that was clear. By mile 16 I started taking walk breaks. I ran/walked the last TEN miles of this god forsaken race. On one hand I felt terrible and wanted to quit, but another part of me knew there was no reason why I couldn't complete the distance. Sure I was wiping away tears here and there but I told myself that just because I wasn't going to run my dream time didn't mean that I should pack it up and go home. I drove 3 hours to be there anyway! That's a looooong drive back with no medal. So I swallowed my pride and finished the damn race.
I have lots of thoughts about this. I feel like I had to try again after how close I got at Wisconsin. Even blowing up the last five miles there I felt absolutely strong for 20 miles at marathon pace before cramping. I really feel like my fitness level was still there this weekend- I just absolutely suck at racing in summer weather. I really not good at it (as seen in previous hot weather marathons where I completely fell apart.)
I'm going to take June "easy," which works out since we're traveling for a week at the end of the month. Then when I come back its 14 weeks until Lakefront Marathon in October where I'll be putting EVERYTHING on the table. It will be the five year anniversary of my first marathon! My marathoniversary? I'll be able to have my family and my friends there to cheer me on as well which makes me really happy. I ran my first marathon at Lakefront, as well as my first sub-4. I now I will make it the location of my first BQ.
It is written all over your face, that you were not having fun... but you still finished. Way to go!
ReplyDelete