Saturday, August 14, 2010

A Little (Plastic) Piece of My Heart

Oh, Internet. I have a problem.

I mean, I have lots of problems because I am very much a less-than-perfect person but I have one problem in particular. A problem where I'm uber-attached to a piece of my past and I can't let go of it no matter how obvious it is that I need to do just that. What am I clinging to? A piece of plastic. A very large piece of plastic but nonetheless it is indeed a plastic toy. To be more specific it is a Little Tykes Cozy Car toy that I purchased for Juliana at a garage sale about eight years ago when she was a toddler.

The cost? One dollar.

To this day I still say it was the biggest bang for a buck I ever got. For one dollar she rode around in that thing for years- long after it was painfully obvious that she was much to large to sit inside of it anymore. And of course after Ava was born the baton was passed and she pushed her little sister down the sidewalk in it as they both squealed with delight. A couple of years ago when even Ava started to outgrow it I toyed with the idea of putting it out in a rummage sale but just couldn't do it. "What if we have guests? You know, lots of little baby guests who would love to play with something like that? I'd really kick myself for getting rid of it." (Because we often entertain groups of toddlers right? They're such a large part of my social circle.) I even had this idea once that I would put it in the garden and plant flowers inside of it somehow. But instead it just sits there through the seasons, covered in dirt, collecting rain water and in the winter it sits under a mound of perfectly rounded, fluffy white snow.

I know in my heart that I should just put it out on the curb and let some other little kid in the neighborhood enjoy it. But something about giving it away means that I'll be saying goodbye to that last piece of babydom I've been hanging onto. It's been years since I've gotten rid of the highchairs, the playpens and squeaky baby toys. I haven't been sentimental about the bigger "gear" I've passed on to other friends and families with little ones who need it more than I do. There's something about this one item that I can't let go of.

For many years I got used to being the one with babies. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant (in fact I was one of the only ones kids for a very long time.) Even when we moved to Milwaukee and Juliana started kindergarten, Ava had just turned two years old and she was still at an age where I took her with me everywhere I went. I called her my Mini Me. They are both so much older now even though my brain knows this I sometimes I forget that I'm not the one with the babies anymore. I'm still getting used to it and figuring out what my identity is outside of that. And this silly car reminds me of the time when being the one with the babies was my identity.

So... I'm not sure what my conclusion is. As of now I'm not selling it but I figure at least I'm aware of what my underlying issue with holding on to this hunk of plastic is. Until then, anyone have any creative ideas for using this as a landscaping piece?


  1. No creative landscaping ideas, but I did have another thought: Give it to @TeecycleClara. Then it won't be going to some random child but one you know and who you might be able to share the joy of it with. Just a thought. :)

  2. oh, that picture is adorable. and there are some toys that my kids have played with that i will never be able to part with, either.