Working on it.

Seasons are changing. Back to school's a-happening. Schedules are filling up with classes, projects and volunteer work (for both me and the girls) faster than I can update my calendar. I'm contemplating what I want to do with my time- or my life in general- this school year and OH YEAH, my second 50-miler is in less than ten days. I'm lamenting what I didn't get done this summer but at the same time I've already starting putting things on the calendar in 2013.

Hold. the. phone. What is it that drives us to be busy busy busy all the freaking time?

Many things I want to do. For real. Searching for new races always makes me feel like I'm downing a cocktail of pure giddy with a splash of steely determination. It puts me in a kind of HULKSMASH sort of mood. But one where the Hulk is bouncing around excitedly in a cute outfit.

On the flip side though, because I have the luxury to TRAIN for crazy-super-ultra-marathon events with a more flexible schedule (due to the fact that I'm a mom to kids who are pretty darn self-sufficient for the most part) I feel a little guilty when I want to be lazy. I know so many people who bust their asses every day and the last thing I want to do is be some kind of privileged, spoiled brat-lady. So instead I'm constantly trying to be productive- whether it's with volunteer work, housework, projects, family obligations...you name it. I mean, I got to go TO EUROPE this summer and then celebrate our anniversary with a boozy blowout hootenanny with all of our friends and family. The least I can do is keep on top of my regular to-do list without whining right?

But I'm whining whiner. Who admittedly could probably do with punch in the face, but other times maybe I do need to give myself a break.

There'a line I like to quote from a little 1990s Steve Martin movie called "Mixed Nuts." In on scene Adam Sandler's character plays a song on his ukulele and then trails off at the end, stating: "It's a work in progress. It may never be finished." 

That's me. I'm a work in progress. I may never be finished. And I need to be (more) ok with that.

No Words: School Edition

15th Anniversary Photobooth Shenanigans

15th Anniversary Photobooth Shenanigans, a set on Flickr.

Best friends and family ever and no you can't have them they're MINE.

I Made This

In case you somehow missed this all the other places I posted it:

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

This week has been a bit strange. Not only are Juli and Ava out of town for their yearly summer camp with the cousins in Illinois, but I've also been spending a lot of time digging through old photographs and keepsakes for a video I'm making for our 15th wedding anniversary this month. I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel a bit like I've been thrown down a wormhole of some sort.  Getting sucked into old memories for hours is kind of disorienting- especially without the the girls to yank me back to reality.  In addition to scanning stacks of photographs from the nineties, Jason and I also spent Sunday evening pouring over old issues of our high school newspaper. And drinking cocktails. (Wouldn't you know it, every time a headline jumped out at me as something funny and/or interesting I then saw "by Jason Gessner" printed beneath it.)

Don't even get me started on the baby pictures.

Looking through all this stuff makes me so happy but at the same time I've also been walking around feeling like I could almost burst into tears. I don't know why I'm acting like such a fragile little flower but it is what it is. Some of these photos seem like a lifetime ago and others I can describe to you exactly what I was thinking and feeling right then like it happened just last week. I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Is this real life?"

I'm planning on showing my completed video at our anniversary party. I'll be the one in the back with the cryface.

I saw London, I saw France

I finally posted my gallery of vacation photos on Flickr. Most of these were taken on my phone so they're not the greatest quality but I'm happy with how a lot of them turned out. Besides, I leave the "real" photo taking to Jason. He's got a bazillion more shots on his camera but I'm not even going to wait for him to sort through all that.

Here'a few of my favorites from the trip:

Olympic rings! So exciting when those showed up.

Buckingham Palace, the girls at Hyde Park, and Juli wandering the streets with Jason.

Highgate Cemetery. I read this book so I wanted to go to there.

English History nerd alert! At the Tower of London.

Finishing my 15 mile trail race in Wadhurst! So happy.

First full day in Paris. Montmartre is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

The neighborhood we stayed in. Basilica Sacre Coeur was just a few blocks away.

Tour Eiffel!

The park I ran in. Butte Chaumont. Butte means hill. Ouch.

Rest in Peace, Jim Morrison. Love, 15-year-old me.

Juliana took this photo of Jason and me at The Louvre. It's one of my favorite shots of us.

Phew! Now I only have to catch up on what's been happening the month since we've got back. Epic Summer 2012 continues!

(The rest of my photos are all up here.)

Team Paxton

I probably don't have to tell you that cancer sucks. I lost my mom to it 11 years ago. My best friend also lost her dad to it, and just last year my cousin passed away from this stupid stupid disease. So when I heard about Paxton Andrews, the four-month-old son to John and Danna Andrews who lost his fight with cancer a few weeks ago, I wanted to punch things. Hard.

Paxton's Angel Network Fund was formed by some friends of mine right after little Paxton was diagnosed at only three months old. Although I don't know the Andrews family personally, they are dear friends of some people I know and love in the Milwaukee fitness community so I wanted to find a way to get involved. Also, as a parent it breaks my heart that any family would have to experience this. So when I found out that I could fundraise with Team Paxton for the MACC Fund (Midwest Athletes Against Childhood Cancer) at the Brewers Mini Marathon in September, I knew it was the least I could do.

Paxton passed away on July 2nd, but our battle against cancer continues. Please consider making a donation to the MACC Fund in honor of Paxton Andrews. No parent should have to lose a child. Team Paxton has a goal of raising $10,000 collectively and we're already more than a third there. Could you donate even $5 today to help other families dealing with this awful disease? 


Team Paxton is described as "an army of love." Join the fight.